My suicide note would read: "Everyone abandons me. Now it’s my turn.
Where am i?"
That’s the punch line
Your suicide note has a punch line?
Yes. Leave them guessing. Maybe then they won’t forget fully that i was here.
Everyone leaves.
Yes.
Why are you telling me this?
So you won’t leave. But you will, and when it happens, i’ll just feel stupid and you can justify it by telling yourself that i was just fucking crazy. You don’t need that in your life. You need to move on. i need to move on. You will know what’s best for me then. But i won’t because you’ll be gone and you won’t have left a note.
You think I would tell you what I think is best for you in a dear john – jane – note?
No you wouldn’t and that’s the problem. i have nothing to be a light into my own confusion. Words and conversations at some point will disappear and i will be left with the note i wrote to myself. Where am i? maybe i need to go somewhere else to figure out where i am now. My fantasies are all about disappearing. Not completely or maybe completely. Just gone.
I’m here now and you want to run away or you want me to go away?
No. that’s not what i want. Exactly. i want to disappear without losing you. i want you to stay the same. The cake and eating paradigm. i want to be alone and come back as someone i can be around and someone you couldn’t help but be around. But the waiting. i don’t think i'm worth the wait until i return from the waiting. And even then, who knows.
I want to say that you are worth the wait and that I can’t help but be around you, but I can’t remain static. If you go, I will want to wait. I will want to.
And it’s not enough. So i’ll stay here until i drive you away.
What if I don’t let you?
Now we just sound cliché. i’ll never you leave you. i would think at this point somewhere you know that resistance is futile.
I’m just saying it doesn’t have to happen that way.
i know it doesn't but i want you understand this part of me. i'm hoping you will see me. i'm hoping for – god – i’m hoping for change. To break a pattern or some shit. i'm hoping you stay. i’m so horrid at this. i sound like a big cheesy corn dog. i want to roll my eyes so high up they get stuck. No other gesture could capture me right now.
I would stick around to see that.
This is a scene that I wrote that I haven't done anything with yet. Worth exploring further?
Where am i?"
That’s the punch line
Your suicide note has a punch line?
Yes. Leave them guessing. Maybe then they won’t forget fully that i was here.
Everyone leaves.
Yes.
Why are you telling me this?
So you won’t leave. But you will, and when it happens, i’ll just feel stupid and you can justify it by telling yourself that i was just fucking crazy. You don’t need that in your life. You need to move on. i need to move on. You will know what’s best for me then. But i won’t because you’ll be gone and you won’t have left a note.
You think I would tell you what I think is best for you in a dear john – jane – note?
No you wouldn’t and that’s the problem. i have nothing to be a light into my own confusion. Words and conversations at some point will disappear and i will be left with the note i wrote to myself. Where am i? maybe i need to go somewhere else to figure out where i am now. My fantasies are all about disappearing. Not completely or maybe completely. Just gone.
I’m here now and you want to run away or you want me to go away?
No. that’s not what i want. Exactly. i want to disappear without losing you. i want you to stay the same. The cake and eating paradigm. i want to be alone and come back as someone i can be around and someone you couldn’t help but be around. But the waiting. i don’t think i'm worth the wait until i return from the waiting. And even then, who knows.
I want to say that you are worth the wait and that I can’t help but be around you, but I can’t remain static. If you go, I will want to wait. I will want to.
And it’s not enough. So i’ll stay here until i drive you away.
What if I don’t let you?
Now we just sound cliché. i’ll never you leave you. i would think at this point somewhere you know that resistance is futile.
I’m just saying it doesn’t have to happen that way.
i know it doesn't but i want you understand this part of me. i'm hoping you will see me. i'm hoping for – god – i’m hoping for change. To break a pattern or some shit. i'm hoping you stay. i’m so horrid at this. i sound like a big cheesy corn dog. i want to roll my eyes so high up they get stuck. No other gesture could capture me right now.
I would stick around to see that.
This is a scene that I wrote that I haven't done anything with yet. Worth exploring further?
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