so there i was, committed to only shitting at work (they are going to pay me for that, yo!), when i realized that the time had come. i made my way to the loo, not walking too fast nor too slow, saying hi to the people i passed, ignoring the ones that give me the runs, and into final stretch of hallway. someone was coming out of the other bathroom. i hate those pre-/post- business encounters, so i slipped stealthily into the room. no one there. thank god. cause this was going to be noisy. i'm not supposed to eat dairy, but that egg and cheese sandwich really spoke to me (i really am a horrible vegan...). when you know that you need to make some noise, you don't want it to be a performance! especially for your unsuspecting co-workers.
empty room: check. favorite stall: check. and the seat was still up! i was going to be the first butt of the day (sometimes i put the seat back up after i'm done so i can track if someone else has used my stall. just sometimes though). so even though they clean it every night, and the seat was up, i still don't like to touch the thing with my hand, so i reached up my foot and hooked it around the seat and was going to slowly bring it down with the damn thing slipped, crashed against the toilet, and broke! the noise was loud enough to know that someone was coming to check it out (i wonder how loud something has to be for people to hear through the walls... for future reference). i high-tailed it out of there and out of the office. i took care of things at the B&N across the street, got a coffee and walked back in to the office.
no one mentioned the broken toilet... all day. at all. someone should have said something about it by now. but it won't be me. i live by the smelt it/dealt it rule, so i know how to keep my mouth shut. i just hope they get it fixed by tomorrow's performance.
Someone in my office broke the toilet seat. GH asked me to imagine how it happened, so here you go!
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