word string

sleep sleep snooze along the river of dreams into a wakefulness without the BEEP BEEP BEEP down in the brain under the low weeping willows floating up into a joy lost beyond the waking dream subway ride over ragged rocks in holy fields to crushing rushing waterpaths in ultraspeed of destination

Hello, Lucky!

lessons

They fell in love over jaeger bombs at the bar, and she sat in a corner, pineapple juice in one hand, flask of tequila in the other. A hag who's a total headcase, waiting for her gay to notice that she was not happy. Or waiting for him to care. People do not like to be manipulated, and who wants to be around the black hole of happiness? She'll spiral for a while.

I have my theories about why we don't have the opposite of the fag hag/gay boy relationship. Anybody else want to chime in?

better bitter quartameter

with bitterflies up in the sky
and flowers wilting right near by
it's time to find a better way
to sit alone and pass the day

I accidentally typed bitterflies instead of butterflies, so I went with it.

expanding the blog

Due to time constraints and such now with school, I am toying with expanding the scope of this blog to include things beyond fictional writing. I will still promise at least one post a week of creative stuff, but the other days could be essays or reactions to events or reviews of things. Mostly, I just feel like I'm putting too much thrown together poetry on here.

What do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments or email them to me.

Rock!
.~cj rene

subway debates

On a semi-crowded subway car at the end of the day.

A1

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen! I am not asking for money. I don't need money. I need healthcare, so I want to know: what do you think about health care reform? Miss? Miss? Sir? Anyone? Anyone with an opinion? With some knowledge to pass on? Sir? Ma'am?

A2

Healthcare reform without a public option is bullshit. We need single payor at the least, but we're probably going to end up with something worse than what we have if we end up with anything at all.

C1

Oh, please. We need people to work for their healthcare, instead of bums like this chick trying to get me to pay for it. Get a job!

A1

Actually, I have three jobs. I'm in two unions. I still don't have insurance.

C2

Me either. I work 30 hours a week, so my boss doesn't have to give me insurance.

C1

Get a different job.

C2

Right, because there are so many out there and we aren't seeing record numbers of unemployment.

If you know anything about Invisible Theatre, you probably get the idea here.

to be five

Five in the bad way is temper-tantrums and being forced to wear things you hate.

Five in the good way is playtime and imagination and fart jokes.

I hope this clears up any confusion.

talkin' 'bout underpants

A
vicky wants to see my underpants

B
okay...

A
vicky wants to talk about them

B
um...

A
vicky thinks i'm funny

B
is that reason enough

A
vicky's paying me

B
oh. wait. that's

A
prostitution?

B
yeah or something

A
i'm not sleeping with her; i'm not even modeling them

B
it just seems ... off

A
eh. i still have $300.

I have way too many pairs of underpants. I do not like the word panties; it makes me feel like I'm five (in the bad way).

oops

oops
forgot again
the coffee
commuter train
with conferences
at the end
make forgetting
the thing to do

Sorry this is late!

meta

bad
poetry
belongs
on
blogs
and
bathroom
walls

Meta. :D

comic falls

Two friends walking, talking, heading to get their mail. Down in to the basement and past the mini-gym. One girl strapped into a machine, working her hamstrings. The shorter, single friend runs into the column and falls on her ass. The other friend's guffaws underscore the chorus of Areyouokays from the gym denizens. Looking directly at the girl with a smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. My mom told me that staring was rude; she never said it was dangerous. I think I'm going to have a bump here tomorrow." She would. Would she have the girl's number though?

I have a propensity for nearly running into things when I'm inadvertently staring at someone.

insight

benign and tall must fall
because we do not have
time to stop
rushing to the next
try invoking shame
receive only anger
for the fucked up
things you said

Yesterday, a guy trying to stop people on the street in Williamsburg said to me when I couldn't / wouldn't stop to listen to him that that is why New York was attacked on 9/11. He should really work for the government since he has such a keen insight as to why terrorist attacks happen.

the joy of catitude #1

OMG!
you're brushing your teeth!
YAY!
i'm going to go poopy!

My cat picks the absolute wrong time to take a dump. Luckily, she poops love, so I guess I can't complain.

worry dreams

Set aside the homework and get some sleep
Dream about missed deadlines lost in REM
Wake up!
Know you have the time
Many things to check off
it'll happen

Yep, dreamed about not getting my homework done on time. This semester is going to be fun!

fear is rot

empty out
veggie tray is overstuffed
tofu begs for use
almonds
sesame seeds
all waiting
to be heated
beaten
cut up
pulverized
smashed
ready for this
fear is rot

I made a lasagna last night without a recipe, and it was quite good (and I'm not the only who said so).

organize!

I have attempted to organize my life millions of times. I have attempted to organize my organizing. I am clearly unable to do this myself. There is some logic here, I think. Something I've created. Instead of putting into other people's ideas of neat and tidy, I'm just going to let it be. Here's hoping nothing falls through the cracks.

Sometimes paper alone can overwhelm you.

where's my brain?

inspiration
comes rarely
if at all
especially
when the
due date's
far

Must. write. essay.

dogs days of the subway

The saddest face on the subway dangles from the strap and looks a thousand miles outside the door. Her toes pinch farther into the pointed shoes as the car jerks her body around and into the other commuters. An overstuffed bag pulls her toward the ground. She contemplates sitting. Why did she get up this morning?

Good morning! Btw, why does the commute have to change so drastically when school starts?

cat fetch

"She's playing fetch with you." The cat looked down at the hairband then at Jess and then away as if disinterested. Jess did not move, puzzled by Cat + Hairband = Fetch. "She's a cat." "Yes. And she plays fetch." Zhe picked up the band. The cat was immediately all tension, ready to go. Once the band was out flying, she followed, snapped it up and chewed on it for half a minute or so before bringing it back. "Throw it again." "How many times?" "Until she's done. She's a cat, so she decides."

Yes, my cat plays fetch in much the same way. She likes to bat the hairband (or whatever it is; she prefers circular objects) about before chewing on it and bringing it back.

lake explosion

floating above the lotus
the spirit of hands receive, direct
the wind over the minefield

Ah, meditation.

office eccentric

Controlled chaos. That was the phrase that hit your head the moment you looked at her desk. Order was there, but you would hard pressed to find it. She knew though. Every piece of paper. It may take her a couple of minutes to dig it out, flatten it out and hand it off, but she never lost anything. Sometimes, people would toss something on top of a stack of papers. She would know. She would pick it up and file it in the right corner of the heap before getting back to business. This desk was the nucleus of the office. Everyone feared that one day she would quit. Who would be able to discover her system and put things into some normal order. She feared the day one of the piles would decide to take her out and fall over, leaving her pinned under the weight of her work. This would, of course, happen on a night she was at the office late and alone. She requested and got a wireless keyboard and sat one foot outside of her cubicle. Her officemates passed quizzical glances. No one said anything.

I should clean up my desk soon.

lunch!

oh lunch time
you skinny bitch, you
60 times 60 to get
my other work done
never enough

Oops. I'm late. Sorry.

gone fishin'

He sits at the streams edge lazily and attentively tending to his pole. The red and white globe floats away with the current and teases him by dropping below the water line in time with the waves. All day, nothing but sitting and staring. This slowness and patience refuels him for another week. He could hear again his own heartbeat and feel how the air entered and left his body. Even watching the development of his sunburn reconnected him to the definition of life. His friends need bars and lights and noise. He needs the sound the world makes when it wakes up.

Just thinking about my brother.

tea sans sympathy

tea sitting
staring
squeezing out dark
bitter mornings
tail of wisdom lingers down
the mug
brushes the floor

I am having my first caffeinate drink in six months. It is a cup of English Breakfast tea. I've been drinking decaf coffee lately, but with school starting, I'm going hardcore now!