intervention!

Cat hair was everywhere, and it was against the rules to wear shoes in the house. Most people would have cleaned the floors and warned their guests against wearing black, but I suppose you can't be too picky when you are going to an intervention. I still had no idea why I had to be there. I mean I barely knew the boy. Just because you grew up together... Plus, do I really look like someone that would have friends who need an intervention? Kate, would you be doll and get me another mint julip? So anyway, we all had to sit around in a circle and blah blah blah. That's where I tuned out and started thinking about that movie... oh, what's it called? But I'm a Cheerleader! They have this scene where they talk about how the main girl exhibiting lesbian behavior and they ship her off to gay rehab. It was such a hoot. Thank you, dear. Did you want anything, Sissy? Kate, can you get her some water? Well, there I am playing that scene in my head and suddenly everyone is looking at me, so clearly it's my turn. I have no idea what to say. So I stare back at them. And they stare at me. And I keep staring back. Not a one of us blinked. I start racking my brain for something to say. I really have no idea why I was there. So finally after about 5 minutes of staring, I announce that I have to go to the bathroom. I screw the top back on my flask, walk down the hall, and crawl out the window. They probably heard me start the car and drive off, but I just could not stay there any longer. Next time I get invited to one of these things, I will be sure to schedule something at the exact same time. They are such a buzzkill.

Interventions terrify me. Probably because I have been close to being the subject of one. I imagine that the real story behind this tale is that it was actually the character's intervention. This was probably on my mind because a friend of mine celebrated her first soberversary this past weekend, but the opening line is from me trying to keep my cat's hair from taking over the apartment. It is a losing battle.