the pro-choice morality play, part two

Dick
But but but I can’t be pregnant. I’m a man.

Beth
Oh, come on now. I don’t think being pregnant makes you any less of a man.

Dick
NO! I don’t have the right … equipment.

Beth
It’s called a uterus, and you are right. That’s why we didn’t implant your baby in your uterus. That would have been silly!

Laina
And futile.

Beth
Right. We implanted it in your liver. Now, I know that you are thinking. You’ll miscarry the baby because it’s not the proper environment, but don’t worry. Sometimes a fetus… oops, I mean baby, will implant in a liver when the uterus is absent. Once we figured out how to remove a gestating baby without aborting, we just made a logical leap as to what the next step would be.

Dick
But …

Laina
Yes?

Dick
Why didn’t just put into some other uterus!

Laina
Beth, do you mind if I take this one?

Beth
Be my guest.

Laina
You see, Dick, a uterus isn’t just a waiting compartment for anything that wants to move in.

Beth
It’s not Tupperware!

Laina
Exactly. It has to go through hormonal and physical changes in order to be prepared to maybe accept a fertilized egg, and even then it’s not a guarantee that implantation will occur.

Beth
That potential human could end up in the toilet without anyone ever knowing or doing anything to cause it.

Laina
Um… yes. (to Beth) A little less crass, please. (back to Dick) So you see, if we tried to implant there, our chances of success would be much lower. After a few dozen trials with the liver - which as far as we can tell doesn’t need all of those hormones – our success ratio has reached 90%. Isn’t that wonderful?

Dick
I don’t want to be pregnant.

Beth
You should have thought about that before you walked into a strange van with people you barely knew. Now you’ll just have to own the consequences of your actions. This baby didn’t do anything wrong. Do you think you should punish it?

Dick
Well, I uh. Um, no. But this is not something I’m prepared for. I don’t know the first thing about a baby – born or pre-born.

Laina
Your baby. You need to start thinking of it as your baby.

Dick
I’m not keeping it.

Beth
Well, adoption is an option.

Laina
But I think you’ll have to wait until after it’s born and say you’re the father. If you tell an agency that you are pregnant, they might not believe you.

Dick
I am the father.

Laina
No. You’re the mother. At the very least, you are the surrogate.

Dick
You should have asked me before you did this. You should have told me what you were going to do!

Beth
Oh, I’m sorry.

Laina
We should have given you all of the (medically accurate) information about what was going to happen, but we didn’t think that was in your best interest.

Beth
Yeah. And we probably should have gotten your consent, but everything about you just said yes and so we didn’t think we really needed to ask. (ed. I want to make sure that this part – which like the whole script is still in first draft form – doesn’t exploit the experiences of those who have been assaulted. I don’t feel that I am but if I am, I want to find another way to make this point and if there isn’t a better one, I’m absolutely willing to drop this)

Dick
What am I going to do?

... but wait! there's more!

So this is part two. I should have Part Three up tomorrow. Comments and feedback can be sent to the email address in the sidebar or just leave them in the comments below!

Part One is here.