internal monologue

If I could just lick my own face, I'd be set. Who designed this body to have a long tongue but not long enough to do the job?!

What was that?

Okay. It was nothing. Where was I? The shoulder. So easy to reach and has the most satisfying head movement. Something moved! Be still be still be still. There it is! It didn't see me. Crouch down low and get ready. It's stopped oh wait it's spazzing!

Attack!!!!!

hahahahahaha! I got it! Wait. Shit. Whhheeereeee did iiiit goooooo? There. Got it. No. Got it. No. Got it. No. Got it.

POUNCE ON IT!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This game sucks. I have better things to do. This pen needs to be...

on the floor! And stay there.

Human! Let me go! No. I don't want you right now. Augh. Fine. Pet me but I'm not gonna like it. Screw your needs.

Loose grip! I'm off!!!!! I. WIN.

Water or food? Food or water? Water then food? Yes.

I do not care for your toy. I am busy. Leave me alone.

I'm just going to go in the other room until you calm down wand later I am going to bite you for being a stupid human.

Stretch it out. Pad otu the bed. Perfect. No. Lump. There. Curl into the cutest, kittenest ball so I'm left alone. And commence nap seventeen of twenty.

I wonder constantly what makes my cat do the things she does. She's an only child and so know how to play without anyone else. Which I think make her daily adventures more interesting to watch.