worth lives

so deep in there were glamour shots at sixteen not understanding what everyone was feeling that stirring that need young but old tired of lonely
felt it when she1 looked at me when she2 kissed me when she3 woke up here
kept it from my body in my brain above the waist kept it from them afraid of their looks lost love lost respect gained disappointment
repeating the mantra of perfection
without perfection there is no love
without perfection there are no friends
without perfection this aching remains
tearing away from them to hold them closer to be real to cry out my self and know they could scream run away
to know that alone all is okay when alone is you damn the masks makeup painted touches so They can name your beauty thoughtless of where worth lives
foot by foot easier harder habitual effort conscious deliberate fate waiting walking wondering seeking new and old to break and build upon the tangled web knotted love
me

First go at a "rambling". I am leaving it without editing.