Quick insight into my maggie

Cat is not happy
not that food, PLEEEEEASE
stupid humans
time for nap

Mags does not like the food that I am feeding her. It's becoming a test of will.

the joy of catitude #1

OMG!
you're brushing your teeth!
YAY!
i'm going to go poopy!

My cat picks the absolute wrong time to take a dump. Luckily, she poops love, so I guess I can't complain.

cat fetch

"She's playing fetch with you." The cat looked down at the hairband then at Jess and then away as if disinterested. Jess did not move, puzzled by Cat + Hairband = Fetch. "She's a cat." "Yes. And she plays fetch." Zhe picked up the band. The cat was immediately all tension, ready to go. Once the band was out flying, she followed, snapped it up and chewed on it for half a minute or so before bringing it back. "Throw it again." "How many times?" "Until she's done. She's a cat, so she decides."

Yes, my cat plays fetch in much the same way. She likes to bat the hairband (or whatever it is; she prefers circular objects) about before chewing on it and bringing it back.

houston?

Maggie was not excited. Why were they going to Houston? What was in Houston that was not in New York?

"Your Nana and Papaw."

Whatever. They should just come here. Blah blah everyone is there. Hello?! Are they blind? New York is a way better place to spend the holidays.

"I need a break from the weather."

She didn't. This was her weather. Her coat was perfect. She had gained a few pounds and filled out that flabby belly. She looked great. Houston was just going to send her into premature spring, and then she would get back here and have to start all over and be FREEZING while her body caught up.

"The tickets have already been bought. Sorry. Maybe if you learned to clean up after yourself or do some chores, I would consider your opinion when making travel plans."

It always came back to that. Housework was so far beneath Maggie, she did not even respond. She merely walked to her litterbox and let what came out speak for her.

My cat has sass, y'all.

under the magnolia tree

The dog asked the cat if it was nice under the magnolia tree. She was uncomfortable. It gets better. It's a big change to be here, but it's not so bad. Being a watcher. The dog could see better than she had in years. That happens. The body falls away and the spirit senses take over and expand. She watched her body flow away into the trees roots and up to the leaves. Visibly the tree grew stronger. I made that tree what it is today. You get to make it what it is tomorrow. She wanted to know if she would be here forever. Impossible to stay. I haven't been here forever yet, so how could I really know? What did the cat think, though? It's nice under the tree. I wish my girl would sit next to me though. She stares, remembers. Sometimes she cries. Or smiles. I just would like her to sit here. She doesn't have to talk to me or do anything really. Just sit. Be near me. The dog wanted to move and run and swim and... It takes time, but you will get used to the waiting. I'm happy to have the company though. The quiet and the solitude are the hardest. So if this is forever, it is forever with me. The dog thought that would be fine. Good. Now, watch your first sunset. You won't want to miss these.

Before she could ask, the sun splintered into thousands of grains of light, playing and toying with the objects of the yard. The sand passed through the dog, the cat, the earth and laughed its journey home. Yes, these would be the highlights of her waiting, of her death. An adequate replacement for her beating heart and the hand of her human petting her. An adequate way mark the time.

My dog had a stroke two nights ago, and my parents had to put her to sleep yesterday. She was 15 years old. They buried her next to my cat. I miss them both.

a description

Brown, maybe tan, bookcases lie on top of one another in a Tetris shape. They have not completed a row. Cubic squares teem with books organized by weight, and the colors interestingly have a harmony. This collection comes from years of buying too many books, mostly in paperback with gaudy covers to balance the austere bindings of the hardcover release. The blood red spine of a Masonic history captures the attention and sends it away to find all other reds. Two are prominent: an essay collection on gender and the illegal Mein Kampf. Scanning away, near the window leans a singular green cookbook. The pages have the wavy and stained quality of recipes attempted. This geologic record keeps the quality of the work secret. Atop of the precarious overhang, lays the cat. She flaunts her white belly and pink nipples, lazily waving her tail. Her spot. She watches. The wind picks up the checkered, green curtain and hides her for a moment. Air movement livens the room and relieves the swollen heat. The cat jumps to the windowsill to inspect the world for birds.

I want to work on my descriptions a bit. What do you think? Do you see this? What pops? What is confusing? I guess I'm asking for feedback.

cyberspace is flat & i've fallen off the edge

could you please put the computer down for at least five minutes? maybe ten and pay attention to me? please.

just a second. i'm almost done.

right. you're always almost done. it's the internet! there is no "done".

seriously, i have almost reached the end of Twitter. look! see, i'm on page... well there are no pages, but i've been clicking the damn thing for nearly 5 days straight at 3 clicks every 2 minutes. there is no way it can go on much longer.

and then you'll have to catch up with the new stuff that was added.

no. i'm actually annoyed with the thing now. i can't wait to get to the end so i never have to check the site again.

just give it up now.

no.

what would change, what would be missing if you didn't finish it?

i can't stop. it's just... no. not possible. it's making me tense just thinking about it.

you can do it. just take your hand off the mouse, sit up straight, blink and look around the room.

i'm almost there.

no, you're not. you need to walk away.

i swear, just 30 minutes more. maybe an hour. i'm almost there. i'm really really really close.

you need to eat something. you need to sleep. you really need to take a shower. change clothes? wouldn't it be nice to stand up for a couple of minutes? the sun is still shining. you could go outside and play with the dog.

i have a dog?

no, not a real one. but you think i'm talking to you, and i'm your cat. so please, for both our sakes, walk away from this stupid task, clean yourself up, and give me some belly rubs!

i...

i'm a talking cat. a talking. cat.

she starts to stand up but looks back at the screen and sits back down.

if i'm not done in 39 minutes, you are allowed to attack me.

i'm going to go piss on your furniture. have a good night.

My cat hates my computer. If I ever try to read all of Twitter, she has every right to take out my furniture in whatever way she sees fit. It would be for my own good.

HAPPY 97TH POST!

the cat hates the computer
especially now that it gets
INTERNET!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!
it has taken her lap space
her petting time
her constant adoration
chewing the cords to shreds
only gets punishment and
new cords (is there an endless supply of these things?!)
sitting on top doesn't work
she hasn't quite figured out
how to pin the human
for now she will use the deadly weapon
ANNOYANCE!!!!11!!!!!!1!!!
the kitchen counters are hers to roam
the door frames, hers to scratch
the ipod ear buds will not last long
the paper will soon be confetti
poos will reek through the house
human yelling and threatening postures
will only delay the inevitable
household domination
you cannot stop the cat

Happy 97 posts of reading (it's a long boring story about why I'm not celebrating 100 posts, but just believe that I'm... eccentric). I hope you are enjoying your time here. If not, I still hope you keep coming back. Cheers!

the cat and the bow

the cat has a bow around its neck
no one knows why
the cat never keeps a collar on
but the bow, it likes
we put it on the cat at christmas
the scratches and blood hardly worth the lark
but now we can't get it off
hissing and teeth and claws
guard the bow
and when you've given it up
the cat prances and preens and poses
in its victory
in its joy
in its beauty
the flick of the tail says
the bow must stay

Thanx to JPJ for the opening line/inspiration for today's poetry.

another cat monologue

Always in the path to the destination. Always. Only good for food, fresh water, and cleaning up my shit. I am going to punch you in the boob. It will feel like I’m kneading you, but it is a hardcore series of punches. You’ll see when you get the bruises tomorrow.

Don’t move me! Here is my butt in your face for that. Yeah, I’m stretching. I’m a cat, a cat with its butt in your face. You like that? Better get used to it. My ass will be next to your nose after you fall asleep. Sweet dreams, sweetheart. Maybe next time you’ll just leave me alone until I tell you I want you.

I don’t even want to look at you right now. I’ll be behind the curtain. Do not. disturb me. You seem to have a plant where I want to sit. There. What? It wanted to be on the floor. I was helping. I never get any credit around here.

How about here? On the arm of the couch? Is this okay for you, your Highness? Hey. I’m looking at you. Look at me. Blinker. Ugh. Stop looking at that stupid box. Stop tapping on it. Pay attention to me. I want petting. Okay, I’m sitting on your hands, my face is in your face, and I’m purring. This is an indication that you should stop with the whatever you doing and get with the catcuddles.

Thank you. I will not kill in your sleep tonight.

I was going to work on Wonderland, but I just was stuck (and tired).

internal monologue

If I could just lick my own face, I'd be set. Who designed this body to have a long tongue but not long enough to do the job?!

What was that?

Okay. It was nothing. Where was I? The shoulder. So easy to reach and has the most satisfying head movement. Something moved! Be still be still be still. There it is! It didn't see me. Crouch down low and get ready. It's stopped oh wait it's spazzing!

Attack!!!!!

hahahahahaha! I got it! Wait. Shit. Whhheeereeee did iiiit goooooo? There. Got it. No. Got it. No. Got it. No. Got it.

POUNCE ON IT!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This game sucks. I have better things to do. This pen needs to be...

on the floor! And stay there.

Human! Let me go! No. I don't want you right now. Augh. Fine. Pet me but I'm not gonna like it. Screw your needs.

Loose grip! I'm off!!!!! I. WIN.

Water or food? Food or water? Water then food? Yes.

I do not care for your toy. I am busy. Leave me alone.

I'm just going to go in the other room until you calm down wand later I am going to bite you for being a stupid human.

Stretch it out. Pad otu the bed. Perfect. No. Lump. There. Curl into the cutest, kittenest ball so I'm left alone. And commence nap seventeen of twenty.

I wonder constantly what makes my cat do the things she does. She's an only child and so know how to play without anyone else. Which I think make her daily adventures more interesting to watch.