healthcare

I work three jobs, belong to 2 unions, and I still don't have insurance.

I'm working two jobs, no insurance, and I have a family that needs healthcare.

I took a look at my medical bills from the last 2 years. Over $34,000, and I am young and healthy. If I didn't have insurance, I wouldn't be in grad school now. I don't know people do it.

We don't go to the doctor.

Until we absolutely have to.

And even then, I've ended up in $6,000 worth of debt.

I'm buried under $20,000. For my gall bladder surgery. Which I tried to put off until my insurance kicked in. Unlucky me, it became a life and death emergency before that happened.

What do we want? HEALTHCARE. When do we need it? NOW.

The system is broken. Long live the system.

inhabitat

Sitting on a bench, reading. Random person approaches.

THEM: Hey! What's that amazing and super hip bag you got there?

ME: Oh, this? Well, this is amazing! It's true! And if by super hip, you mean solar powered to keep me energized, charged up and ready to go all day, you are also right!

THEM: Solar powered? Like you can plug your stuff in to it.

ME: Yead, dude. I never have to find an outlet.

THEM: Dude. That is just too cool. I don't even know what to say.

ME: I know! When I saw it at Inhabitat.com, I had to have one. I mean, who doesn't need a readily available energy source hanging off their shoulder?

THEM: No one that I would be friends with.

ME: Exactly.

THEM: I need to get one. What was that website again? Takes out pad of paper and pen.

ME: How about I just show you? Takes out Mac and goes to the site.

THEM: Yo. That's awesome. I'm going to order one right now. Thank you!

ME: Don't thank me, thank Inhabitat!

BOTH: Thanx, Inhabitat! You are teh awesome!

ME goes off to class, solar energized and ready to save the world, passer-by at a time.

I entered a contest to win one of these bags. This is what I came up with as to why I needed one. Aside from the obvious usefulness (especially when traveling overseas). www.inhabitat.com

alice in the office

The paper has begun to curl away from the monitor and toward the window like a leaf seeking light. It draws her eyes to outside where the life is and the noise and the heat and the city. She feels her ass molding to the chair. Fuckin' chair. It doesn't even fit her average body, and her feet dangle above the floor. Ten cups of coffee and three cups of tea and she is still tired and really really really really has to pee. The phone rings as she gets up and rings again while she's answering and rings again as she transfers and rings again as she starts to dance in the small space between the desk and the wall. This will not turn out well for her.

Sorry for the late post. It turned out better than I expected though!

sir

goodnight, sir
may your days of peace
keep joy close

thank you, sir
may your legacy grow
and know triumph

sleep well, sir
may we keep you in mind
and achieve our shared dreams

Rest in peace, Senator Kennedy.

lose the shackles

flying laptops
flat screen TVs
reach the sun
melt their wings

spiraling down
cold earth waiting
morse code silent
blinding SOS

explosion on impact
a triumph of glitter
worth the fall
to lose the shackles

I had a dream last night that involved my laptop and a friend's flatscreen TV falling out our respective windows. I wonder what that means.

countdown to school

The last week of summer set in the west, and children began to hide from the seeking start of the school year. It always finds you under the bed though. Torturous shopping trips for new clothes ended in the joy of the office supply store. Maybe this year they would be old enough for the multicolored click pen and the double sided highlighter. Everybody else has them! ... No, I am not everyone else.

One more week before I redefine busy!

fights between friends

one lost in the patriarchy
defending the indefensible
joking about what's not funny
the other fighting to end
what casual people joke about
that cuts deep into
the soul of those of us
not granted power

to a head
help to understand
but walls do not come down
in 24 hours
and minds are not changed
by one exchange
on facebook

Rape jokes are not funny. Street harassment is not flattering. In case anyone was wondering.

sleep

a good night's sleep
can change the world
fuck coffee

Yay! Sleeping! Even if my cat thought I was oversleeping!

prey

learn my job before your complaint
can you walk seven feet in my shoes?
they were cheap
hurt my feet
i do more
you ask for more
i have no more
you take more
and smile at the small tip left
for my time energy brain soul self

when i meet the day
that the shoes come off
tossing them at your head
i will laugh
and pray you don't find another
lamb
while you prey

Someone needs a day off. Or maybe for people to leave alone for the first 30 minutes or so of the day (especially when that day started before it needed to).

remember the promise

remember the promise to magdalena
a story waits
she waits
gathering together again
a lost journey
confusing jungle
absorbed
spat out
clean up clean off
see stand breathe learn again
she will wait
forgotten until a picture remembers

I went to a international women's theatre conference a few years ago a made a promise to finish a story I had been working on. That story has fallen by the wayside, but I remember the promise now.

move

moves are done
bruises spotting skin
unpacking ... almost
oh and laundry waits

Yay completed move.

moving

one more day living in this place
living alone
then a move move mooove
east
running to the ocean
a start to a great leap across
into other worlds

Happy Weekend! Wish me happy moving!

unending asking

question:
why can't you just ...
as if attraction
could be controlled
into a simple
selection of the "right"
path
the one that makes
them more comfortable
explain with kindness
frustration and anger
fester
not the person
but the system
denies legitimacy
laughs at attempts
to stand on equal footing
those fitting the
correct mold

Wanting the world to catch up. Realizing I need to take more time to think when I'm asked a question. It is not necessarily my job to explain or explain right away.

worth lives

so deep in there were glamour shots at sixteen not understanding what everyone was feeling that stirring that need young but old tired of lonely
felt it when she1 looked at me when she2 kissed me when she3 woke up here
kept it from my body in my brain above the waist kept it from them afraid of their looks lost love lost respect gained disappointment
repeating the mantra of perfection
without perfection there is no love
without perfection there are no friends
without perfection this aching remains
tearing away from them to hold them closer to be real to cry out my self and know they could scream run away
to know that alone all is okay when alone is you damn the masks makeup painted touches so They can name your beauty thoughtless of where worth lives
foot by foot easier harder habitual effort conscious deliberate fate waiting walking wondering seeking new and old to break and build upon the tangled web knotted love
me

First go at a "rambling". I am leaving it without editing.

forget to forget

lost in the move
sleep in the past
running for a goal
unable to turn
tense and focused
look wide
look long
open
forget to forget

I'm ahead so far with the packing/moving!

today, though, look away

blue windows before the rain
falls to meet them
smudges block the lightning's flashes of inspiration
thunder's oration
sitting bare, open, and kind
piles of life gather and grow
requiring action
today, though, look away

Happy Monday before I move, y'all.

weak/strong

this perfectionist streak
is making me weak
time to remember
"i don't know"

Have a great weekend everyone!

casual thursday

when the economy collapses
and the looming debt of school
stares down into your soul
it is very necessary
to wear jeans to work

Work party!

the chaos of sanity

The desk was willfully angular. Everything had a place and remained perfectly in line with the ninety degree angles of the furniture. When zhe sat at the desk, hir back was straight, arms at right angles, feet firmly planted on the floor. It was disturbingly clean except for the pen holder. A firework of collected writing instruments, many stolen from other desks. The small space held the all of hir chaos and subversiveness, pushing the limits of the boundaries and threatening to explode in a volcano of ink and graphite. That tension kept hir sane.

This description is definitely not my desk. I attempt to keep some order, but really, I just do not care.

couple of sentences

He was trying too hard to get everything done. There was too much to do, too little time. He kept going. One thing after another. Rest. HA! Maybe later. There was always later.

Short, oh the shortness.

conquest

Arms folded under, she took stock of the person across the room. Tall, solid, dark, brooding, seemingly in control. She wanted to break her, but not tonight. Tonight was introductions and meaningless conversation; a night to be forgotten except as the time she first spotted the conquest. Control was hers to own and manipulate.

We are heading in to a time of stress and change. The entries may be short, but they are still coming.